Managing your toddler room positively

Jan 29 / Alex Weehuizen

Ah, the toddler room. If you’ve ever been a toddler teacher, you know one moment you’re observing a beautiful interaction of play and the next, the desire of two toddlers wanting the same toy becomes the catalyst for full blown conflict. Welcome to the wild, wonderful and unpredictable world of the toddler room.


In this blog, we’ll dive into why the toddler stage is one of the most significant (and rewarding) phases in early childhood education. We’ll explore how to confidently manage challenges, support toddlers' growing independence with smooth routines and build strong connections that foster trust and emotional wellbeing.

Toddlers are often seen as wild animals needing to be tamed, but the truth is, it’s the fear and misconceptions about this age group that need taming. Unlike infants or preschoolers, toddlers can feel like a whirlwind of unpredictability. Toddlers are navigating massive leaps in independence, emotional expression and social awareness.Their development seems messy, intense, and full of rapid changes, which can make some hesitant to work with this age group.  

It’s easy to assume that because toddlers are physically capable and their receptive and expressive language is growing rapidly, they experience and interpret the world in a way similar to adults. However, their brains are still in the early stages of development, and the way they process emotions, interactions, and experiences is vastly different from ours. Toddlers view the world through a lens shaped by curiosity, immediacy and a limited ability to regulate emotions or understand complex concepts. Recognising this difference is key to supporting them with empathy and patience as they navigate their rapidly expanding world.

Understanding the toddler developmental stage where big emotions and growing autonomy collide is key to seeing the magic behind the chaos. With the right perspective and tools, caring for toddlers becomes less about control and more about connection and growth.


Between the ages of 1-3 years of age, toddlers are mastering motor skills, developing language, asserting independence and navigating big emotions all while exploring their world with endless curiosity. With so much going on, it’s no surprise they get overwhelmed and their behaviour can escalate as they manage it all. This is typical and not a sign of being attention seeking or manipulative. They are simply trying to make sense of a complex and ever changing world.

Our role isn’t to make toddlers compliant and quiet as that’s neither realistic nor developmentally appropriate. Instead, our job is to guide them through their experiences and learning, helping them to gradually understand how to manage themselves. This process takes time, patience and consistent support from the entire teaching team.
  • Set clear and consistent boundaries - Toddlers feel more secure when they know what to expect. Set clear and consistent boundaries by using simple, straightforward language to explain expectations. This helps them understand what’s expected, creating a sense of safety and stability while also encouraging positive behavior
  • Offer choices - Offering toddlers choices is a powerful tool for fostering their independence and sense of control, which helps them feel safe. Stick to 2 or 3 clear options that guide them toward the desired outcome, like “Do you want to play with the trains or cars?” Avoid open ended questions like “Do you want to have a nap?” as these can create confusion or resistance..
  • Redirection - When a toddler is about to engage in something they shouldn't, try redirecting their attention with a positive and engaging alternative. Instead of saying "Don't draw on the wall," offer an appealing suggestion like, "How about we draw on this fancy paper over here instead?" By gently guiding them toward a more appropriate activity, you not only help prevent potential challenges but also create a positive and supportive environment that minimizes the likelihood of power struggles.
  • Use positive reinforcement - Celebrate positive behaviour you see by offering specific acknowledgement like, “I saw how you shared your blocks with your friend! I bet they felt happy about that!” This kind of positive reinforcement highlights the action and makes the child feel proud of their choices. By focusing on positive behaviour, you’re not only encouraging those behaviours to continue but also helping them feel seen and appreciated.
  • Model desired behaviour - Toddlers learn a lot by watching the adults around them. Show them how to act by modeling calmness, patience, and kindness in your own actions. When they see these behaviours in action, they’re more likely to copy them.

Teachers often share how challenging transition times can feel, describing it as “herding sheep,” with toddlers heading in every direction. It’s natural to feel frustrated in these moments, but it’s important to remember that toddlers aren’t acting this way to drive you up the wall, they’re simply exploring the world through their egocentric lens, which is a normal part of their development.

Here are five tips for creating smooth routines and transitions in a toddler room:

Make it fun and positive: Transition times can be fun by incorporating songs, games, or playful activities. For example, sing or play a fun tidy up song or pretend to be animals moving to the next activity. A positive, fun approach helps toddlers feel excited and cooperative rather than resistant during transitions.
Give advance warning - Toddlers benefit greatly from knowing what’s coming next. Providing them with a few minutes’ notice helps them mentally prepare for the transition, reducing resistance and anxiety.
Use visual cues - Visual cues like pictures or a visual schedule can be really helpful especially for younger toddlers who may not fully understand your verbal instructions. These cues make transitions more predictable and easier to follow.
Keep transitions short and simple - Toddlers can become overwhelmed easily so keeping transitions brief and clear will help maintain their focus and minimise frustration.
Engage toddlers in the process - Involve toddlers in the process. This gives them a sense of responsibility and ownership over the routine, supporting their growing independence.
By focusing on empathy, understanding the toddler experience and using positive teaching strategies, you can create a more meaningful environment that benefits all involved. Fostering trust and cooperation through consistency and connection are key to a thriving toddler room. 

For more practical tips and insights, watch my webinar, “Managing Your Toddler Room Positively,” where I share strategies to support you in creating a calm and positive environment.
written by

Alex Weehuizen

Alex is an experienced ECE teacher with over two decades of experience working alongside families. After working as a nanny for 5 years, she completed a Bachelor of Education (ECE) in 2008 and began work as a ECE teacher. After discovering a strong passion for supporting parents on their parenting journey, in 2020 she started working as a Parenting Mentor

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