Genuine apologies are voluntary and come from a child’s own recognition of their
mistake and understanding of its impact on another person. This often involves a level of empathy and emotional development. When a child reaches a stage where they offer a genuine apology, it can be a sign of their emotional and social development. It shows they are learning to take responsibility for their actions and understand the importance of repairing relationships.
There are various ways that educators can support children to develop empathy and
accountability, such as modeling behaviours, guided discussions, problem solving skills, and supporting them to recognise the meaning behind emotions. Respecting children's autonomy is essential to helping them grow into self-aware, self-assured adults because it affirms their views and feelings, which is vital for relationships to be based on trust and self-esteem.
Pressuring children to apologise might weaken their sense of agency by making them feel helpless and downplaying the significance of their own emotions and willingness to make amends. Furthermore, it prevents children from organically growing empathy and understanding on their terms, which impedes emotional development.
Rather, teaching children the value of saying sorry and letting them do it when it's convenient for them helps them develop their ability to make decisions, and recognise the repercussions of their actions.
